


Ness Takes Bong Rips from his Dad Who is a Phone

by Mouser



Category: Mother 2: Gyiyg no Gyakushuu | EarthBound
Genre: Bongs, Drugs, Other, Surreal, dads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-12 06:53:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17462699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mouser/pseuds/Mouser
Summary: Ness Turns his Dad into a Bong. What more could you want?





	Ness Takes Bong Rips from his Dad Who is a Phone

**Author's Note:**

> A goof Story where Ness turns his Dad into a Bong from back in 2015. This is such a good idea, I love this.

“EY” Ness shouted as he kicked open the door to his house. Euphoria filled his youthful gaze. Summer vacation was finally here and he was ready to relax, play some video games, and smoke a fucking fat blunt. He ran into the kitchen(but closed the front door because he is a good kid) and sat at the table. He expected to see his mother’s smiling face offering him his favorite, Steak. But, to his surprise he only found a note on the fridge. He used PSI to bring the note up to his face.   
The note read as follows: “DEAR NESS, TRACY AND I HAVE GONE TO THE NEW EAGLE LANDIA TO PROMOTE TRACY’S BUSINESS. I LEFT STEAK IN THE FREEZER FOR YOU MADE WITH LOVE. BE SAFE AND KEEP YOUR FATHER IN GOOD SHAPE! LOVE, MOM” Ness sulked in his seat. He got up from the absurdly large chair and took out the steak from the fridge. It was in a nice heart shape and had “I love you my little Nessy” on it. He placed the steak in the microwave. As he watched it spin and cook, his thoughts fled to his bong and his new alone time.   
Last week, his sister had broken his bong because it came to life and tried to burn down the house. Sadly, he had to retire his bong and ask Paula to give it a viking funeral. Paula was high as hell and ended up burning down Pokey’s house. Ness remembered it fondly as he was taking bites of his newly made steak. He wondered how he could fix his bong problem. He glanced from the kitchen at his Dad sitting on the counter. The phone was pristine and looked to be prime bong material. It had a dial that was perfect for putting weed in and the phone itself would easily make a good place to inhale.   
Ness swallowed the last of the steak, plate and all then ran over to his Dad, disconnecting him from the wall. He called in Jeff who was in town visiting and they got to work. They began to turn the phone into a glorious bong. Jeff used his knowledge of weed technology and his priceless pipe collection to make a masterpiece. The phone bong was in working order in no time flat. Ness’s smile began to widen, he hadn’t felt this happy since he was able to ride a bike. The two boys looked at their handiwork then got straight to business.   
Ness filled the bong with weed, carefully taking out the huge ass nugs. “This is gonna be great.” Jeff said remembering how high he was when he ate Tony’s birthday cookies. Ness took the first hit, inhaling through the phone itself. The weed traveled carefully through the advanced network of phone cables and inside you could hear the bong water crackle. Jeff spun the dial to provide more circulation for the weed. This hit was dank as hell, causing Ness to reel back as soon as he took a hit. The back of his throat burned a bit and he inhaled the deep smoke. 

“Okay.” Ness said as he burped out some smoke. He handed Jeff the phone bong and he began to take a hit. Jeff couldn’t hold that weed at all, his mouth tingled as he tried to smoke that dank kush. He was so accustomed to experimental rich weed, that he wasn’t expecting the dankness of this one. He coughed and sputtered wildly and Ness laughed a bit. They took a few more hits and things were going well for them until….  
The phone rang! Ness stopped blazing for a second then picked it up. “Heylo?” he said into the mouthpiece. Ness’s father’s voice came through as clear as day, the sound made Ness’s head tingle.   
“NESS, WHY DID YOU TURN ME INTO A BONG?” His father yelled, his voice muffled through the bong water inside of him. Ness’s face was plastered and it took him a second to comprehend what he just said. He shot up and started to apologize into the phone he was holding. But, then he took another hit. “NESS STOP TAKING BONG RIPS OUT OF ME AT ONCE.” Ness didn’t listen and started to toke up real hard. Jeff watched jealously as he saw Ness inhale so hard that his eyes were watering. Ness’s father let out a bunch of beeps and boops.   
The operator’s voice rang out from the phone asking what the problem was. Ness replied in a perfectly clear manner “Smoking dat Dank Kuush” The operator, being a weed smoker herself left Ness to his weed business. Jeff however, was starting to get concerned. Ness was smoking his dad really hard. Ness had taken about 50 bong rips so far.   
“I think you should stop Ness….” Jeff said, reading for the bong. Ness slapped his hand away and started to smoke the weed more. He showed off his little temporary tattoo on his hand that said PSI Weed. Ness then used his PSI to make the weed even stronger. His father felt the phone bubble and the weed became danker.  
Jeff started to walk away from the weed cloud when he saw it. The weed cloud began to form a face. It was Giygas! Giygas was reborn from the kush that Ness smoked. Ness didn’t notice and was laying back, done with the bong. Giygas started to do his inexplicable attack, but it only gave Jeff a contact high. Ness sat back and laughed a bit. He used his PSI to get into Magicant(the place where all high as souls go). The flying men were working out and smoking dank kush. “We are your courage” they said as they smoked huge ass blunts. It was in that moment that Ness learned an important lesson. 

The important lesson was that if you want to smoke some good ass weed. You have to make a bong out of your father who is phone. You can take strong hits because the signal is good and so is the weed. Marijuana is not a bad drug, neither is it dangerous.(in the background Jeff runs from the weed cloud giygas who he is inhaling) It’s also good to smoke with friends, like Jeff. The moral is that when you smoke weed don’t use your bong making abilities to hurt others. Weed should be a nice and healthy experience. **Also, THEY COULD HAVE SMOKED GIYGAS IN A BONG, HE WAS JUST CLOUDS.**


End file.
